Sunday, December 6, 2020
THE PROS AND CONS TO HAVING KIDS TWO YEARS APART
When are you having another” seems to be a fairly common question after you have the first baby. So many mamas are always asking, “What is the best age gap in between babies?” With my kids being 10 months and 3 years, I can now say its a good time to write this.
The short answer to this common question is that there is no right or wrong answer. Rather that there are pros and cons to ever age gap in between siblings. I am writing this post now but I am sure I will write it again in a few years once I have a bit more experience under my belt. I was very nervous when I found out I was pregnant with my daughters been 19 months at that time but God has a funny sense of humor.
Kemi is 3 years and Dayo is 10 months and they are 2 years 2 months 24 days apart.
PROS
1.) Closeness in age // I love that they will be close in age and able to grow up in the same schools together. They are close enough to play the same games/sports/etc. I am a bit worried for when they are older and gang up on me, but I can worry about that later on….
2.) Your older child won’t remember life as an only child // Kemi has adapted really well but has her moments when seeking for attention. It was a bumpy the first few months (when she first met him she said “mama let me hold him”) but she soon started to love him more than anything. She wakes up every morning “Where’s Dayo”?! Looking forward to them growing together and doing almost everything together. I enjoy watching them play it just melt my heart even though Kemi is not yet ready sharing her toys. I truly believe that encouraging early play with your sibling is one of the best things and allows them to learn how to share early on.
3.) Embrace the effing craziness // If you wait too long, you forget about all the craziness that a baby brings into your life. If you stack them together not very close oh lol), you never know what hit you! 
4.) You can keep them both on somewhat of a schedule together – including sanity time (NAPS)! // I have successfully put both kids down for a nap in the afternoon around the same time. Dayo is such a great sleeper so it make it so easy for me.
5.) You don’t know any better // if you wait for a bigger age gap, you’re likely to enjoy things like
not having to change a diaper
sleeping through the night
nights away from home (it’s easier to bring them to grandparents, etc. once they are older)
etc.
Once you’re freedom is gone, you don’t miss it after awhile! (or at least that’s what I keep telling myself)
6.) The help you gain from others // This may happen with larger gaps as well but I can’t speak for those. BUT, I can’t tell you how many times I am struggling with the baby and trying to carry a toddler and people just flock to you to help. It’s like they know you’re about to lose your shizz and they come running to your rescue (little angels here on Earth).
CONS
1.) Diapers x 2 // You are changing two babies instead of one (although I was so blessed that Kemi was potty train by 18 months and was fully ready when her brother arrive ) and this makes going out anywhere a bit of a challenge. You need to have both sets of diapers on hand at all times and figuring out how to change them both while out in public always poses a bit of a challenge. If only we have 5 sets of arms instead of 1…?
2.) “Helping” // Kemi LOVES to help, which is great in theory but in actuality it just means more for me to do 
Which I don’t mind at all since it makes her feel important and part of the party, but I can do without 25 wipes all over the floor and diapers undone and thrown behind the couches
3.) Right back to number 3 of the “pros” // You are IN IT. Yep, those sleepless nights, they are pretty much continuous for YEARS. But hey, you’ll miss it when they are moving out of your house when they’re 18, RIGHHHHT?
4.) You’re either pregnant or a milking cow // Yep. We lost our first baby October 2016 and 4 months later I got pregnant with Kemi and when she was 18 months I got pregnant with Dayo I haven’t seen or heard from my own body since 2016/2017. With green in your daily diet and water you will feel yourself again. You may not get your old body back, common you birthed a whole human being. Please don't be hard on yourself.
5.) Kiss your $$$ Buh Bye // Yep, this thing will cost you some serious dough. Just think about enrolling them in dance, swim lesson, school, daycare, etc. With having a girl, you want to dress her cute and that lol. Prepare to watch your money fall out of your pockets faster than ever before!
6.) People think you’re cray // BECAUSE YOU ARE.
I truly believe that the 2 years age gap is just perfect. Most importantly it give your body time to recover and get your nutrients back before having another baby. Lastly, I personally believe it’s more difficult from 0-1 than 1-2. I say this because from 0-1, this little person is going to change your entire world and switching everything around as a single person who can wake up at any movement and rush to the store or focus on a career or other things compare from 1-2 where you have already adjusted and going with the flow of this new life.
