ZURIEL's Birth Story
Sunday, March 4, 2018
I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him.
1 Samuel 1:27
Fair warning, this is definitely the longest and one of most intense personal post I’ve ever written. I knew I wanted to write this for myself, to remember the beautiful battle that was bringing Zuriel into the world, but so many of you have reached out asking and you guys said you really wanted to read it too, so here you go. 
I went in for my 36 weeks check up at the specialist after my regular OB appointment and they found out that my water was decreasing a-lot. Firstly, thank God we made it this far I told myself but yet the fear came over me. I had established an amazing relationship with my specialist Dr. Jacques, we would pray together at every visit. She told me that it was not alarming but will need to induce me within 3 days if my water continued to decrease. As usual, I called my husband and he goes "you are not full term yet, we prayed for a full term and healthy baby girl lets trust God".
Later, I went to my friend's place who was also our neighbor to vent my frustration. She had a newborn at that time so it was so fun connecting with her in so many great ways. She insisted that I listen to the doctor and drink lots of liquids. Boy did I drink; lol! I increased my water intake from nine bottles a day to fourteen bottles. My entire pregnancy I cut down sugar but I decided to drink juices to help with the increase. In three days, we went to the appointment and my water had increase a bit so it was victory for us.
At 38weeks, my water had decreased again, so Dr. Jacques insisted that I go home for the weekend and check in at the hospital on Sunday evening to be induced. She didn't want to take any more chances, I was already full term at 38weeks. She checked my cervix, and I was only dilated to 2 cm, so she called my OB, Dr. Robert Klien (he was the doctor who took care of me during my miscarriage) to schedule me.
I felt a bit defeated but had a sign of peace in my heart, knowing that it was the Lord's doing. As I waited for my husband to arrive, I heard a small voice inside of me 'let the Lord's do his work'. The entire weekend surprisingly we took long walks in the park, got our hospital bags ready and we kept laughing at little things.
We packed the car up with our hospital bags, said bye to our dog chanel, and headed out around 6:15 PM. I remember telling Chanel, we are going to bring our baby home. Sunday November 5, 2017 at 7:00pm we checked in at Memorial Regional Hospital. I was wheeled into the labor and delivery unit, even-though I insisted on walking. I reached one hand up to Tunde’s shoulder and the other to my belly and shifted from one foot to the next as I took a few deep breaths. By the time we entered the delivery suite, it was all happening, and I looked up to Tunde with a wide grin on my face. Could this really be happening? We said our prayers and left everything in the hands of God.
Around 7:30 PM, they came in to start my IV – which btw, hurt a little worse than expected (the nurse was surely not paying attention so she had to find my vein on the other hand). We gave her my birthing plan and what I wanted to be done (My hypnobirthing class helped and made me more aware of a woman's body and gave me a brand new strength). We didn't want the epidural till we had no other option. The nurses started the process to soften my cervix and get the ball rolling.
We wanted the room as calm as possible, we started our Hill Song and Travis Greene stations on pandora. Within 4 hours, I was still at 2cm so they started up with the pitocin to try and move things along. They kept me on pitocin, increasing the dosage slightly every so often. They came back to check me by 9am the next morning, and I was only 3 cm dilated. Dr. Klien later came in and suggested that I take the epidural to move things faster, I insisted that I wanted my natural birthing process to be medical free as much as possible. Later, I told my husband to turn on the hypnobirthing cds as I meditate. Every single nurse that came in our room kept saying that they felt a sign of peace and they loved the energy. I was so concentrated during the contractions. As the contractions increased I held on tight to Tunde's hand. By 4pm, I was still 3 cm. I remember being so frustrated and disheartened that after an entire day I had barely made any progress and was nowhere near where I needed to be.
Tunde reminded me that I had to stay positive and continue to be calm, the more I am relaxed the faster the process and the calmer she would be. I knew that she felt my energy. They tried to have me turn onto my side, since I had been on my back for so long, but anytime I turned to either side or leaned back, Zuriel’s heart rate would drop. Honestly, that was the scariest part of the whole thing. Everyone kept telling me to just sleep and nap when I could, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her heart rate monitor. I was watching her heart rate like a hawk, and I certainly couldn’t sleep, no matter how much I probably needed to. At one point Tunde was sleeping and I wouldn't see the monitor, I remember shouting his name for him to get up and see and when he did he said 'Lyn we are good'. Zuriel is such a strong girl (Her name says it all, Zuriel: the strength of GOD; Oluwakemi: The Lord has kept me/ The Lord is keeping me). During this process she already started to teach me. Her heart started going higher and higher. At 8pm I was still at 3cm. I told myself this wasn't the time to give in to the enemy but be strong.
When the new nurses on duty came in, this amazing nurse told me that it was okay to get an epidural that sometimes our plan does not always go our way but I should trust the Lord's plan. We talked it through and decided what was best for Zuriel and didn't want her to wait any longer or stress her out.
At 10 PM, the anesthesiologist finally came in to give me my epidural. I was actually pretty nervous for it. He gave me the epidural, and pretty much right away I started to get hypertensive and felt super light-headed, so they gave me some oxygen. I tried to take deep breaths and relax myself. It was so funny that the anesthesiologist Andrew remembered me from the last situation that occurred in 2016. I remember his phone ringing and I told him to take all the calls he needed before starting the process. All I could think about was her, and praying she was ok. Once the anesthesiologist gave me the ep, it didn’t take too long for the lower half of my body to go numb. If you’ve never had one before, it’s a pretty crazy feeling. I didn’t like the feeling of not being able to really move my legs much (one was more numb than the other), but I also didn’t like the contractions haha, so I figured it was the lesser of two evils. I had the shakes – bad. I also didn’t know this could happen during labor, but apparently it’s pretty common.
When I realized this, something changed in the way that I was handling my labor, and the fierceness that arose astounded me. The pain was no longer my enemy but my ally, and it was preparing both my body and my mind to bring life into this world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more proud of myself or so capable of anything. I truly believe that birth is beautiful in all of its forms – that however a mother decides or needs to bring her child earth-side is sacred, because ultimately what really matters is that she feels empowered, is healthy, and that her baby arrives safely. And finally accepting an epidural as an option was exactly what I didn’t know I needed for this birth.
The nurse then increased the pitocin. By 11:00pm I was already at 6cm and I told Tunde its happening with a big smile on my face. The nurses told me to sleep and they would check in an hour, I just couldn't sleep. Knowing how tired my sweet husband was, he went to sleep but my big bright eyes was on the monitor. At 1 AM I was at 8cm so the nurse said she would inform Dr. Klien but he won't come till my water breaks, I kept telling the nurse to just tell him to come that my water would break soon. She later came in and said its Dr. Klein's midwife that would deliver me but she told her not to come yet. I wanted to tell the nurse something (in my Liberian accent lol). When the other nurse came in at 3 AM, she suggested that I get on the birthing ball to help break my water. You are not going to believe this, the entire water sack came out and it was laying between my legs. I felt it since 2 AM but had no idea what it was. I honestly expected to feel pee running down my legs like what we all see in the movies. The nurse was so amazed, I said to her I felt this all along but didn't know what it was. She broke my waters with one swift tug and I felt the rush of warm liquid pool beneath me. It was immediate that I finally felt the urge to bear down, something that felt so intense and new to me this time. Baby’s heart rate was fairly consistent with each contraction, and we were starting to hold on tight more frequently too. I was trying to keep track of the sound of our child’s beating heart but my ears were ringing loudly. So Tunde started talking. “Her heart rate is ok,” he whispered into my ear. “It’s fairly consistent, don’t worry. She’s doing great. You’ve got this.” I remember squeezing my eyes shut and sending every ounce of strength I had to my baby. You’re so strong. You can do this. I said to her over and over in my mind. Looking back now, I know so much of the power I felt coursing through my body and into our daughter was an extension of what Tunde was sending into me. I couldn’t have done any of it without him.
She then checked and thank the Lord, I was at 10 cm! It was time to start pushing, and although I was completely exhausted, I was so ready to meet our baby girl. I knew I was ready to give it every last ounce of energy I had to give. As Tunde was right there, holding my hand, and being the leader I so needed him to be in that moment.
This was it. I forced myself to take a minute to really absorb what I was feeling, knowing that I’d see this child’s face for the first time so soon. Exhilarated, terrified, peaceful, and a little mournful too. I’d spent the better part of the past one and a half year either pregnant or trying to get.
I remember my mother's prayer points the entire pregnancy that I should deliver like the Hebrew woman, that was the same prayer she prayed in the last two hours before dropping the phone. The midwife came in. She was so beautiful that I started to smiled knowing that Dr. Klien won't boss me around. The moment I started to push was the moment I woke up. And truthfully, I think it’s the moment I felt my healing begin. The grief, the numbness, the trauma that I met with Bolu, I felt them burn with the fire that grew within me. Feeling everything allowed me to feel everything. It’s almost as if I needed to experience the physical pain that I had escaped to really embrace the emotion. This time, two beating hearts. Last time, only one. And just as it was under the silence of the first that I birthed my way into a new world of motherhood, it was under the roar of the second that I became a new kind of mother once again.
The Lord is so good that I only pushed 3 times under 10 mins. “We can see her head now,” the midwife said calmly. “You’re almost there.” "Boy, does she have a lot of hair" the other nurse said and I could see my husband's excitement as he took pictures and couldn't contain himself. Through the tears and laughs, prayers and everything in between, our sweet and beautiful baby girl was born and at 4:21 a.m. on November 7th, 2017, screaming. They finally lay her on my chest I refused to look at her, everyone kept saying look at your baby girl she's beautiful. I started to cry and refused to look at her.
But when I pulled her up on my chest and felt the ripple of her cries travel through my body a whole new world of emotions poured into me, and I was transformed. Nothing had ever felt so right as when I first felt my child’s ribs expand against mine. And as I gazed into her deep, knowing eyes I felt the love that my mother felt for me, and that millions of mothers before her must have felt too. Different than the love I felt looking at Bolu, both powerful in their own ways.
It’s funny how what seems impossible in the moment instantly melted away when I saw her sweet face. Even after 24 hours plus of labor, I would do it all over again a thousand times, to bring our girl into the world.
To my amazing husband … I thought I loved you as much as one person could, until that day. The whole experience brought us closer than I ever thought possible. You are my rock, my supporter, and I couldn’t have done it without you.
I have never felt God’s presence more fully than I have within the walls of Memorial Regional Hospital. He held the pieces of our broken hearts together as we left on October 29th 2016 with empty arms and wept silent tears of joy alongside us when we left with Zuriel's tucked safely in her car seat on November 9th 2017. Though we didn’t always feel like it was true, we know His plans for our children surpass anything we could have prayed for. It felt like the perfect happy ending to our story. But I should have known better, because it’s often those times that feel like endings that are really just beginnings. And what a beginning this was.
To all my moms out there – you are warriors!
To all my soon-to-be moms or hope-to-be-moms – you got this. Whether your pregnancy/delivery is easy or hard, it will be so WORTH IT!
Sincerely,
Earlinda
